i wish you could see me.
in the early hours of the morning when i’m not some directionless little girl. the one who has a college degree sitting in her living room and doesn’t know what the fuck to do with it.
i wish you could see me in the nighttime, when i’m alive and ready to take on the world with a google search and a quiet twitter feed. when i feel like i can do anything and everything. when the world is at my fingertips and i’m not cautious, i’m alive, and i’ve got all the brains and the luck and the drive i need.
this side of me doesn’t exist in the sunlight. those comforting rays of warmth take away that spark of passion, showing me instead tedious hours of combing through a minuscule list of job openings, of minimum wage, of a tedious reality that i still can’t accept.
because when i was growing up, they neglected to mention that i was born in the wrong time. too late for knightly quests, too early for space exploration. they gave me fantasy books, then told me to grow up, become a receptionist, be happy about it, die.
i wish you could see me when i’m brave and determined. when no one could tell me no. i wish you could see me when i am more, when i am everything.
there’s an adventure here somewhere. it gets lost in the haze of reality, but i can see it, sometimes, in the starlight.
i wish you could see me then. i’d show you my stars.
IT REALLY ANNOYS ME HOW ONLY GIRLS GET CALLED OUT FOR SWEARING TOO MUCH BECAUSE “ITS NOT LADYLIKE” FUCK YOU IM NOT HERE TO BE “LADYLIKE” IM HERE TO KICK ASS
everything is bullshit.
My college graduation ceremony begins in 8 hours.
I feel like I’m being pushed off a cliff.